Sunday, February 27, 2022

A Sunday in February

 Guard tried so hard to tie his own tie today. He almost had it, but needed a bit of help from Dad. He is always so good to get up on time and get ready to go without any problems.


Speaking of getting up on time, Enoch has attended early morning Mission Prep classes every Sunday since September. He made the decision on his own to attend and has gone every week without reminders or nagging from me. I'm super proud of him!

Speaking of me, I was set apart in my new calling today - 2nd Counselor in the Relief Society Presidency. I am feeling hugely humbled and inadequate. Ever since the Bishop called me last week, Satan has hit me hard. So much anxiety, anger, frustration about myself and the world- it's hard to feel like I'll do any good with this calling. I finally recognized what was going on and I have increased my prayers. I am still feeling not quite myself, but I know the Lord will help me so I can do good among the sisters.

Saturday, February 26, 2022

Salt Lake Adventure

 Today was a beautiful day - a bit chilly, but the sun was shining. I am so antsy to get out of this house, so we planned an afternoon to Salt Lake. 

We really don't venture into the city that often. It's not my favorite place. However, UTA was offering Fare Free February, so Front Runner and Trax were free all month. Guard has never ridden on the train and he really wanted to go.

The trains were pretty crowded. That's what we get for waiting for the last Saturday of the month to go, but we did find seats and on the way home, we even got to sit upstairs. On Trax in downtown, we had to stand, but I think Guard liked that best of all!


Enoch loved standing as close to the moving trains as I would let him and feel the power of them. He loved the ground shaking and the wind rushing by.

Once in Salt Lake, we toured the Church History Museum. It is really fun and they have done such an amazing job with it.

Guard hiding out in the log with the hidden Gold Plates.
Counting all 5.00 first printing Book of Mormons to make sure they are all there.
Enoch doesn't quite fit in Liberty Jail. It really is sobering to realize the tiny space they had for so long.
Guard loved the play area and we spent about an hour there. He had fun with the puzzles, computer temple coloring pages, building a flower garden, and making his family history tree.
Guard was able to touch a replica of Angel Moroni, but only with white gloves they were handing out. If you touch it with bare hands, it tarnishes the gold leaf.

It was such a fun day! We had a great time as a family and can't wait to do it again!

Thursday, February 24, 2022

Highland Games

This month for co-op, I was in charge of our party. I chose to tell the story of the Scottish Covenanters and celebrate with some Highland Games.

While telling the story, we ate yummy shortbread cookies. We then had a clan call, where everyone who had Scottish ancestry had their clan named announced and we all cheered. It was fun and we were able to participate with our Bruce name. Finally we divided into classes and had stations of different Highland Games

Caber Toss using pool noodles instead of giant logs.

Shot put with balloons.
Sister Eldrege told us a Scottish fairy tale while the kids colored their own tartan designs.
Tug-O-War - the kids had a great time with this one.

But the favorite station by far was sword fighting. This kids really got into this. Enoch was quite good at it with his extra long arms. Kate and Carson Norwood had an awesome battle. And Guard just loved it all!







When the rotations were over, we all met back in the gym for the epic sword fight. All the kids had so much fun!

It was a really good day. We love our co-op!

Tuesday, February 15, 2022

Scattered Thoughts

February 11 was Guard's choose day. Every month on their birth date, each child gets to choose a fun activity. For example, Guard was born on May 11, so the 11th of every month is his choose day. We try to keep things simple, letting the kids choose a bigger activity a few times a year. This month Guard chose to make strawberry pineapple ice cream with the Yonanas, watch The Jungle Book, and snuggle with Mom. I love spending time with my little man.


Every Thursday morning, we drive to Eagle Mountain for our homeschool co-op. This Thursday was a cloudy, gray day with only a touch of sun shining through the clouds. When we drove past the Saratoga Springs temple, a ray of sun had just burned through the clouds and landed right on the temple. It was so beautiful! I wish I had a better picture (this one was taken through the window, while driving). It again reminded me how much I need the temple and love it!


Ever since Greg has started working from home, I find myself making meals for lunch and not just having everyone fend for themselves. The family loves it...I feel like I'm doing a lot of cooking! One of our favorite lunches is ham fried rice. It's easy, cheap, and everyone likes it. Most of it. This is Guard's plate after lunch. He will carefully pick out every pea, every time we have it. Sigh...this kid will not eat any green veggie!

Monday, February 14, 2022

The Lord fulfills His promises in His own time

Today for my Come, Follow Me study, I read Genesis 17:15-22. The manual said, "The Lord has made glorious promises to the faithful, but sometimes the circumstances of our lives can cause us to wonder how those promises can possible be fulfilled." I felt prompted to share this experience.

It has mostly been difficult for us to get pregnant. While trying to conceive Enoch, we tried for five years. We went through a lot of medications, procedures, tears, anger, frustrations, questions, and finally acceptance that we most likely were not going to have another baby. 

One day, I was reading a book in our living room. I was sitting on an old flowered couch we inherited from my parents. That couch always looked like a Monet painting to me; pastel colors that blurred into each other. I was having a difficult time concentrating on my book (really a difficult time concentrating on anything at that time, my mind was so full of confusion and hurt), My eyes wandered to the couch pattern and I just stared at it for long minutes while my mind went through the ever-present reel of wondering why I was being punished. I truly believed I was such a horrible mother to Gavin that God wasn't willing to send me another baby. Gavin wasn't an easy child and I was questioning everything at that point.

While my mind was wondering, I had a very distinct impression that I would have a baby in May. I immediately sat up straighter and listened again. I didn't necessarily have a real burning in my soul, but it was such a strong feeling out of the blue, that I said a small prayer asking Heavenly Father if this was from Him. The though came again that we would have a baby born in May. I started doubting, mostly to protect my shattered heart from more hurt. I rationalized that I must be thinking of Gavin, since he has a May birthday.

At that point, we had done everything medically we could to become pregnant. We had tried drugs (buying from the local pharmacy, then buying them direct from Mexico when money became even tighter, and then selling our extra drugs to another hopeful couple in a dark, cold parking lot, trying to wish them luck without sobbing because those same drugs didn't work for us). We did round after round of artificial insemination with no luck. Our last effort was In-Vitro. I knew it wouldn't work, Heavenly Father told me in the temple not to bother. But, I still had to try it. I wasn't trusting myself or my relationship with God much at that point. I should have listened. $25,000 gone and that was the last of our money and my will to keep trying. We gave up and decided that if pregnancy was to happen, it would have to happen on its own.

I had accepted the fact that we were probably going to be a one-child family. Eventually we put in adoption papers, but even that didn't seem promising. We prayed about fostering and got a firm no on that as well. So on that spring day, while Gavin was at Kindergarten and the house was quiet, I sat on my flowered couch and was given the prompting that we would have another baby, born in May. Honestly, I tucked those thoughts away in the corner of my brain and at the bottom of my heart. I couldn't live through any more horrendous disappointment.

A few months later I became pregnant! It was a shock to both Greg and I. We had really accepted our family and had moved on from the idea of having more children. We were overjoyed! I couldn't believe that we were going to have another baby, due in February. I had tucked away my revelation of a May baby so far into my hurt heart, that I didn't even remember what Heavenly Father had promised me.

One day, late in my pregnancy, I was moving wet, clean clothes from the washing machine to the dryer. I specifically remember I was having a difficult time reaching down into the washing machine because my stomach was so big. As I finished up, again I had another thought unexpected thought pop into my head. You will have another boy. I stood there, holding a pile of heavy, wet clothes, and had a hard time wrapping my brain around what I just heard. It was so quiet and simple, yet absolutely earth-shattering for me. Was I really going to have another baby. Three babies! Again, my faith was weak. I couldn't imagine getting pregnant again.

February 12, 2005, on a rainy afternoon, our sweet Enoch Jon was born. He was the happiest, cutest baby. I wondered if my prompting at the washing machine could even be true? How could we be blessed with three children?

The thought of that third baby stayed with me through the next few years. When Greg and I felt the time was right, we started trying again, bracing ourselves for another long, painful struggle. Imagine our surprise when we discovered me pregnant the first month we tried! Another part of this journey that did not make sense, but we were so happy!

I knew this baby, again due in February, was a boy. I had been told it was a boy and I was determined to finally trust my prompting. I remember one night, in that place between wakefulness and sleep, I had an image of a fluffy, pink blanket pop into my mind. My eyes jerked open and I sat up in bed, with my heart pounding and my brain confused. Must just be crazy pregnancy dreams I told myself - this baby was a boy.

At the 20-week ultrasound, we were told we were having a girl. I was shocked! It wasn't that I didn't want a girl, but it was so unexpected. I had finally come to terms with all these vague, simple promptings, that to have them not happen was a real blow to my spiritual confidence. I remember feeling prompted to call my good friend, Michelle Day. I cried on the phone. I told her I wasn't sure why I was telling her all this. She told me she had the exact same experience and that everything would be okay.

As the months passed, I was so excited to have a little girl! I never thought it would happen, but I jumped in with all my love and enthusiasm. Kate Patrice was born on the morning of February 19, 2008, and I was so immediately in love that I'm not sure how I lived my entire life without her. She was my eternal blessing that I didn't know I needed.

I always wondered about that boy that was supposed to come to our family but didn't. The few years after Kate was born, my health really took a nose dive. I wasn't sure I could get pregnant again, let alone carry a healthy baby. After a few promptings, Greg and I decided that there was still a baby meant for our family. It took a few months before I was mentally ready to jump on the roller coaster of trying to get pregnant.

It would be lovely to say that I got pregnant right away. Unfortunately this was not the case. It took two long years. I knew we were suppose to have this baby, so I didn't get involved with fertility treatments, but the disappointment of failure every month was awful. Coupled with the fact that I was getting older by the day, really shot my anxiety through the roof. 

On a hot, August morning in 2011, I finally got that positive pregnancy test. I felt so many emotions at once - elation, relief, panic, comfort, I was so happy to be pregnant! 

For the most part, the pregnancy was normal and smooth, despite my age of 36 years old. I remember sitting in the car before my ultrasound and telling Greg that this baby better be a boy because I wasn't sure I could face all of those uncertainty emotions again. When the ultrasound tech announced it was a boy, I cried happy tears.

On May 11, 2012, our Guard Randall was born. He was prefect - perfect for us. He tied our family up beautifully and we knew that he was the last one for us. As I sat in my hospital room the afternoon of his birth, I marveled that he was finally here. I heard a small voice whisper in my heart, "Your little boy born in May," Perhaps it was the exhaustion, the medication, the overwhelmingness of everything, but I burst into tears, I finally remembered that promise God made to me 11 years earlier, that promise that I had tucked deep inside my heart and hadn't thought of for a decade. 

It came back not as a memory but an emotion. A feeling that said I could trust God, that He would always keep His promises. That He knew my pain and He gave me little glimpses of the future to keep me going and to show me love. 

I don't have a favorite child. I love them all equally for different reasons. Each of them has my whole heart. But when I look at Guard, I remember my May boy. He is my promise from my Heavenly Father.

Sunday, February 13, 2022

Scattered Thoughts

 Where's Autumn?

This cat is so funny! She brings such joy to our lives and she is so stinkin' cute. We love her so much!


Guard is always serving! Today after church he told me he had a surprise (and he has good surprises!) My room had been turned into the Relaxation Room. So fun! I got to lay down with a soft blanket and a fluffed pillow while Guard gave me a back massage. He did a great job and I really did feel relaxed afterward. When he was finished, he gave me a kiss on the check and told me to lay down for as long as I wanted. Love this kid! He knows just what I need!


While writing the Valentine's Day Heart & Soul Time unit, I recruited Guard to help me with the recipe page. We made strawberry and Nutella hand pies. Guard cut out the pie dough with a cookie cutter, spread the jam and Nutella on the dough and crimped the top and bottom hearts together. He's an excellent cook and the pies were so yummy! Thanks, Guard!



Saturday, February 12, 2022

Enoch is 17!

 I say this with every birthday post, but I can't believe where the time has gone. How is my sweet, adventurous boy 17 already?!

The last few years, Enoch has turned into an old man. For Christmas, he asked for underwear and a tie. He is definitely a minimalist and does not need stuff to be happy. Every time I asked him what he wanted for his birthday he would say, "Mom, I don't need or want anything. I'm good." Shopping for this kid is so difficult!  All he wants are things for his computer and he want to buy them himself with money he has earned from helping us landscape. I'm so proud of him, but he does make Christmas and birthdays hard.

He did get one present. A hat. Enoch has never been one much for hats, but after he got one from the car show last month, he has decided they might not be all bad.  Happy birthday, Enoch. Enjoy your boring, gray hat!



He did get chicken enchiladas for dinner and a simple dessert of brownies with raspberry frosting (his choice). Love this kid!



Tuesday, February 8, 2022

Island Park

 We had such a great time in Island Park last year, we decided to go again! Grandpa was on board and the kids were excited to play in the snow and go snowmobiling, so we booked the condo and made our plans.

We had such a nice relaxing weekend! We spent a lot of time in front of the fire watching the Olympics and reading. We drank a lot of hot chocolate. We listened to Grandpa's stories from when he was a boy. We went swimming and warmed up in the hot tub. We played games (even Grandpa played and he is usually not big on games). Kate and I crocheted. And we laughed!



We also spent a lot of time outside. The kids loved snowmobiling and had a great time buzzing around the meadow behind the condo and also going out on the trails.



I happened to peek out the window and caught Guard playing on the snowmobile. Love his energy!




My dad and I took a fun trail ride on Sunday afternoon. What started out as a beautiful, peaceful ride turned into quite the adventure. The map we followed wasn't very detailed and we ended up about ten miles from where we planned on finishing our ride. My snowmobile kept breaking down and that took time on the trail as well. By the time we reached the main road, we were far from the condo and it was getting dark. We finally reached a gas station and we called Greg to come get us with the trailer. Thankfully, it ended well, but it was an adventure!




Other good times in the snow including sledding down a fun, little hill we found by the pool. The kids had a great time! A few days later, the kids took 'The Tub' down a hill by the condo. So much fun!






Guard was determined to build a snow fort and talked Greg into helping him. It actually came together quite well. Guard was a bit frustrated at times, but he stuck with it and he and Greg had a wonderful time.


In between the fort, Guard made snow angels, got buried in the snow, and had a snowball fight with his dad.








We did take a bit of a break from the snow and visited the Wolf and Grizzly Discovery Center in West Yellowstone. We've been there before, but still had just as much fun! Right before we got there, the wolf pack caught a wild raven for breakfast. That doesn't happen very often and it was interesting to hear the story and see the aftermath. The wolves were amazing and we spent quite a bit of time with them and got some great pictures.





We had a good time in the museum and the gift shop. Guard found some bear slippers and said, "Look, it's the right to bear feet!" So clever! We've been learning about the Bill of Rights, so it was perfect.

Since we were so close to Yellowstone National Park, we drove to the entrance to grab a picture. Greg and Gavin had to walk a ways to reach the sign, but it was worth it. We didn't go into the park on this trip, but we were there!
We had such a great time and made so many memories! I am so happy we went and we can't wait to go back!